across the stars (or attachments not allowed)
by Harryfan626
Summary: With the threat of the Sith Lord, Darth Voldemort, looming over the Jedi Order, young initiates struggle with the less dire matters of love and friendship. As padawans, Lily Evans and James Potter clashed, as knights they worked together, and eventually, despite codes, rules, and war, they fall in love. Star Wars AU


If asked where her home was she would always pause, as if unsure the real answer, before replying the Temple; if asked the same question he would answer before the question was fully delivered, knowing without a sliver of doubt that his home was the Jedi Temple.

Unlike the other padawan learners, she could remember her home. She remembered her mother braiding her hair and her father tucking her into bed. She remembered a sister, with long blonde hair and a longer neck to match it, who was her best friend. She remembered the day Severus, still too young to be a padawan yet travelling with a Jedi Master, found her, how they watched as she flew off the swings using the Force (even though she didn't know what the Force _was_ or how she was using it). She remembered a whirlwind day when that morning she was just Lily Evans and by that night she was leaving her home planet and travelling to Coruscant to train as a Jedi. She remembered her sister begging to come. She remembered the tears in her mother's eyes. She remembered Master Slughorn kindly placing a hand on her shoulder as she learned her first Jedi lesson: no attachments. If asked where her home was she would remember it all and think that her home was with those kind faces from long ago memories that she clung to so fiercely and yet she would still reply that her home was the Temple. Sometimes she thought that maybe she just did not have a home.

James Potter could not remember his parents. He knew that they were old, for human standards, when he was born. He was a miracle child. Part of the miracle was his strength in the Force. Before she came to the Temple, James was the most Force sensitive padawan learner. His childhood memories did not include a mother's hug or a father's laugh because he had left their home before he could walk. His childhood memories consisted of Master Dumbledore projecting star maps around the classroom. He remembered meditation sessions that could not last more than five minutes before they would devolve into laughter. He remembered nights awake, the only light source in the room coming from an ignited training saber, as he whispered about dreams and futures as peace keepers with his fellow younglings. He remembered his best friend, his brother in everything but blood, Sirius, tossing spitballs at him in lessons with the help of the Force. He remembered joking around with Remus, a half-Shistavanen half-human youngling, about all the fur he would shed during the moments of the month when he was more wolf-like than not. He remembered a family connected through faith, not blood, that while deeply loyal to each other were forbidden from admitting it aloud. As much as James loved the ways of the Jedi, no matter how hard he tried, he could not understand the rules against attachment. He had attachments, he figured, everyone did. One of his attachments was to the Temple, his home.

They didn't get along. Maybe it was because of their different backgrounds, they're so fiercely contrasting ideas of home. Maybe it was because he cut her hair off with a training lightsaber when she was nine. Maybe it was because she filled his bed with stink slugs, the most horrid combination of slime and smell she could think of in the galaxy. Maybe it was because he hated her best friend and her best friend hated him. Maybe it was because one day they would get along and it just wasn't the right time. Because they would, get along that is, eventually.

* * *

The very first thing Lily ever said to James was "You leave him alone you kriffing sleemo!" She then promptly punched him in the face. Later, she would also be forced to apologize by no less than three Jedi Masters, because upon entering the Jedi Order Lily had to be taught not to feel anger. Later, Lily would claim he deserved it. After all, he had been taunting Severus, the youngling who had led her to the Temple and her new life.

The very first thing James ever said to Lily was most likely something along the lines of, "Hello." However, he was so dazed by her furious green eyes and flaming red hair and furious shouts that he might have just stuttered out random syllables instead of any real words. But even at the age of six when Lily first entered the Temple (and subsequently punched James in the face) she was the most vibrant and lively person James had ever met. When she was added to his age group of younglings James made it his goal to befriend her. After all, she was six, he was six, they had so much in common. When Lily was added to James's age group of younglings she made it her goal to loathe him. She managed to maintain that goal until the age of fourteen.

In the eight years of hatred, Lily hated him with all her soul. If asked by a Jedi master she would claim otherwise, because hatred was just as forbidden as attachment, but she truly loathed James Potter. He was a nightmare, she argued. He relentlessly bullied Severus (unbeknownst to Lily, Severus retaliated to everything James did in a much harsher manner), he pranked her at every opportunity (James pranked everyone but Lily firmly believed that he targeted her), and he was full of himself, strutting everywhere with his gang of other miscreant younglings.

In Lily's eight years of hatred, James did everything he could to befriend her. He did everything he had done to befriend Remus, Sirius, and Peter, but apparently, those tactics didn't work. Maybe James just did not understand girls. Lily reacted terribly to the fluorescent fireworms being in her bed something which Sirius had thought was amazing (at exactly 1:14 in the morning all the worms glow different colors). She also got mad at James when he cut her hair, which Remus appreciated his friends doing (at least with the spots he couldn't reach, being part Shistavanen made him much hairier than his fully human friends). She even got mad when James tried to correct her grip on her lightsaber, something which Peter (who struggled with offensive techniques but excelled at defensive) found helpful. What James considered the friendliest of his many gestures was his attempts to ward Snape away from Lily. The Force presence of Snape was dark and tumultuous (few but James sensed it, or if they did they chose to ignore it) and James wanted to protect Lily from the dangerous youngling she had befriended. Lily took to his attempts to keep Snape away from her the worst (at times James believed that she truly thought his name was sleemo).

* * *

When Master McGonagall picked James to be her padawan every youngling, especially Lily, was jealous. She could not understand how the (arguably) best Jedi would pick _James_ of all people to be her padawan.

When Master McGonagall picked James to be her padawan ever youngling, especially James, was confused. He could not understand how the (arguably) best Jedi would pick James of all people to be her padawan.

However, nobody was surprised when the most demanding Master, Alastor Moody, choose Lily to be his padawan. A large Gran (whose center eye was damaged by in battle and therefore a pale white color, unable to focus) Master Moody was often called Master Mad-Eye, a name he wore proudly. A few of the prospective padawans were jealous, but most were to terrified of Mad-Eye to want him for their master.

When Master Slughorn chose Severus to be his padawan nobody was surprised or jealous. Everyone had seen it coming and nobody else would have wanted Slughorn for their master.

One by one their youngling class was chosen as padawans and they all began their real training. Distances grew between the learners, both emotionally and physically. After years of living in close quarters of the Jedi Temple the new padawans were suddenly parsecs apart, in different star systems, on different planets. The padawans were expected to have a gentle start to their training but when the war started everything changed.

* * *

The war was unexpected, unforeseen by the strongest Jedi, Master Dumbledore, and all others who listened to the Force. Yes, the Jedi did know that the Sith Lord, Darth Voldemort, was gaining power, but they saw no signs of the incoming battles. Right under the noses of the Jedi, the Sith had built a following of force sensitives whose parents chose not to send to the Jedi temple and were then trained in the ways of the dark side. His trained force users and an additional army of droids descended on planets, their goal: eradicate the galaxy of non-force users. In the eyes of Lord Voldemort and his loyal followers, beings who could not connect with the force were lesser, only those who were force users truly deserved the title of sentients.

As the Republic's peacekeeping force, it became the responsibility of the Jedi to protect all from the ruthless scourge of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Battles began popping up across the galaxy and at each site a Jedi and their padawan would be there, ready to stop Voldemort's evil forces. Masters McGonagall and Moody often were paired together by the council which inadvertently caused James and Lily to be together constantly, with no one else close to their age to talk to. All at once, they became friends.

They didn't become friends because James stopped his poor attempts to woo her or because Lily realized he was just trying to be nice. They became friends because they kept saving each other's lives.

At age fourteen the two were at their first battle without their masters, it was just the two of them and a battalion of clone troopers against Bellatrix Lestrange, Voldemort's right hand. It was bloody and vicious; clone troopers were dying everywhere and the piercing sound of Lestrange's mad laughter continuously broke through the cacophony of blasters. James and Lily were side to side, his green and her yellow lightsaber redirecting the incoming blaster shots towards the enemy. They were laughing despite the battle, keeping count of the number of droids they shot down, each wanting to finish with a victory in both the battle and their game. It was all going smoothly until there was an explosion. The cliffs behind them started to collapse, rocks hurtling down. The padawans called for their troops to clear the way, which they did. James and Lily sprinted in opposite directions to get away from the debris. It was then that Bellatrix's gunship swooped in. One second James was there, helping his troops and out running the rubble, the next Lily was watching in horror as he was grabbed by Lestrange and disappeared into her ship which disappeared into the clouds.

For the first time since her training began, Lily felt like the six-year-old girl being led away from her loving parents, she was suddenly alone and confused. She almost let herself wallow in the feeling until the very un-Jedi like emotion of rage swept through her body. James was in danger and she was going to save him. She left without orders for her men. She sprinted to her Starfighter and flew off in pursuit of Lestrange, it was only by chance that her R2 unit was still in the ship. Once in open space Lily caught the final glance of Lestrange's ship as it streaked into lightspeed. She was almost too late but her R2 unit had just enough time to calculate Lestrange's coordinates.

Slipping alone through Lestrange's personal palace, Lily had to admit that she was in the midst of the most reckless thing she had ever done. She had always been a planner, a strategist. But there she was, no plan, no backup, nobody even knowing where she was, sneaking past droids in an attempt to find James. It was pure luck that she found him. Or well, he found her. He had managed to convince the droids guarding his cell to release him due to a wager and a simple magic trick, Lily didn't fully understand how he tricked them but from what she could grasp, it sounded exactly like something James would do. As he was sneaking out and she was sneaking in, they ran straight into each other. After a moment of stunned silence Lily threw herself in his arms and kissed him. The kiss lasted a second, a simple celebratory peck on the lips because he was _alive_ but then they both froze because she had _kissed him_ and Jedi aren't supposed to kiss and the two of them especially should not be kissing because up until that very moment she thought she hated him. (It turned out she didn't hate him; she was actually rather fond of him.) They were lucky again. Managing to escape Lestrange's lair without alerting her. They flew off together in Lily's Starfighter, despite the fact that her model ship was only designed for one person, they made the fit.

By unspoken agreement the kiss was not mentioned afterwards. By unspoken agreement they became friends after that.

* * *

They were nineteen when Lily fell in love with James.

They were nineteen when James realized he had been in love with Lily since the first time he saw her and she called him a sleemo. (He would later tell her it was inevitable. She'd call him a sleemo, again.)

They were nineteen and the war showed no signs of stopping any time soon. They were battered veterans who had seen more death than anyone should in their life, let alone at such a young age.

They were nineteen when Severus Snape betrayed the Jedi Order, killed his master, and joined the ranks of Lord Voldemort. They were there when it happened.

* * *

Droids and Death Eaters swarmed around them like bees in a hive. There was a never ending stream of adversaries. Lily and James were back to back. Their lightsabers were flashing nearly in sync as they diverted blaster bolts. Blood was pounding in Lily's head. James felt his muscles aching. The cacophony of noise made it sound like the world they were on was about to end.

Then, in the midst of it, the battle halted. Lord Voldemort was there. Beside him was Severus. Lily shouted out. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as Severus, in one long motion, lodged his lightsaber in the stomach of Master Slughorn. The Jedi were frozen as they watched the master crumble to the ground, dead. Then Severus - no - _Snape_ was taking Voldemort's outstretched hand. The battle resumed, more vicious than before. In the moment, everything changed. Distracted, Lily took a blaster to the leg, knocking her down. She collapsed against James. Supporting her, he continued to fend off attacks.

But as Voldemort left, with Snape at his side, so did the fighting. It would have been as if nothing happened if not for the scattered droid parts, some still smoking from contact with lightsabers, the dead Jedi, clones, and Death Eaters laying where they fell, and the smell of death and sweat in the air.

Lily and James both slid to the ground, in shock. They were leaning on each other, supporting each other. She rested her head on his shoulder and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Softly, despite herself, Lily started to cry. She had just watched her once best friend defect to the Dark Side. James held her through her tears, whispering words of comfort. It was as if the other Jedi around them, the ones cleaning up the battle and tending to the wounded, did not exist. For a moment, to them, the only people in the galaxy were Lily and James.

"Thank you," She whispered as her tears subsided, "For saving me, again."

"I'd save you a million times, Evans," James said.

She smiled a little, "Let's hope it never comes to that. But I do feel safer, always knowing you have my back."

"I'm with you Lily," He promised, "Until the very end."

For some reason (and Lily would never know for sure why) those words reminded her of home. Not of the Jedi Temple and the no attachments rules but of her vague memories of her mother pressing kisses to her forehead and her father letting her dance on his feet. A rush of warmth swept through Lily. It felt like she was coming home. It felt like James was home. And then she realized. Sitting in the middle of a battlefield, surrounded by the dead, the wounded, and the confused, Lily realized she loved James. So, she told him. And for the first time in either of their memory he was speechless.

His mouth went dry. His heart pounded. James felt the world stop. "But, but love isn't allowed." He managed to murmur.

"I don't care."

"We could be expelled from the Order."

She repeated, "I don't care."

"This could destroy us."

Again, she said, "I don't care."

All the while as they spoke their faces inched closer and closer together. His breath was brushing over her lips, each exhale feeling like the ghost of a kiss she could almost remember and never forget. "Screw it," James whispered as he pressed his lips against hers. It was a messy kiss, their lips not meeting perfectly, and there was too much teeth, because James kept telling her how much he loved her, even as they kissed. (Despite the sloppiness, Lily would later claim it was the best kiss they ever shared.)

* * *

Surprising them both, not much changed after they confessed their love. The war only grew more intense and so they were often sent out into deep space, just them and a starship full of a battalion of clones. During day, they would put forth strategies, lead their men, and be two of the greatest Jedi generals. But at night they were Lily and James. They would slip out of their Jedi robes and Jedi roles. They would talk and laugh and pretend the galaxy wasn't falling apart. They would kiss and touch and love and live. And when their eyelids grew heavy he would throw an arm around her waist and pull her close as they drifted off to sleep together. Nobody was the wiser that they spent the night together in his cabin. Or if they were, nobody seemed to care.

On the battlefield, they also found little change. Jedi forbid attachment because it would, in theory, spread thin the compassion of the Peace Keepers and make the susceptible to weakness in battle. Lily and James found that their love made them fiercer. They were fighting for more than the Jedi Order; they were fighting for each other. They were fighting for a better day when the battles would end and holding hands they could step down from the Order and build their own life, together. They were fighting for the galaxy's future that they saw themselves a part of.

At night, sometimes laying on the surface of a distant planet staring at unknown stars, sometimes curled together in a starship cabin bunk tracing constellations across the other's skin, Lily and James would talk about the future they saw. James would twirl one of her curls as he whispered of a life together. He'd tell her about moving away from the other population of Coruscant, to one of the temperate paradise planets like Naboo or Rishi. He would tell her about leaving the Order, handing in their lightsabers and just walking away. He'd tell her they deserved it after everything they'd seen. She'd tell him about the job of local law enforcement they would both take. She'd tell him about finding her family, how they would accept them both with open arms, kisses, and tears. They agreed that they'd have a son. Maybe more kids later on. But without a doubt a son. With his eyes and her hair. Or maybe the other way around. It was idealistic and it distracted them from the horrors around them. They'd fall asleep in each other's arms with thoughts of these far-fetched futures in their dreams. Both of them knew it was all fantasy. Neither of them cared.

* * *

But the future has the funny habit of sneaking up on people when they least expect it, which is exactly what happened to Lily and James. Lily started to feel sick, at first she thought the battles were wearing her down but the nausea and discomfort persisted. Not wanting to worry him, Lily didn't tell James that she wasn't feeling well.

It was after three weeks of waking up and going through the day vomiting and hiding it that the terrifying thought burst into the back of her mind. What if she was _pregnant_. (She couldn't be pregnant they were so careful and they were at war she wasn't ready to be pregnant they couldn't handle this Jedi aren't supposed to have kids she can't be pregnant.) That very first night she had a dream, or more precisely a Force vision.

 _The static and whirr of lightsabers meeting. The deep and daunting flash of a red blade, a_ Sith _blade. The cries of a baby._ Her _baby. She knew. James falling. Dead. Her falling. Dead. The baby crying. The beautiful baby with dark hair and green eyes crying. The red blade going for him, going towards him. She has to stop it. She has to stop the Sith. Her baby. Their baby. The red glare of Voldemort's eyes. Her baby crying. James screamed. She screamed. Dead. Dead. Dead. But the baby_ had _to survive. She couldn't let him die. The baby's cries._

Her heart had never pounded in her chest harder than as she shot out of bed, the vision still fresh in her mind. Without a doubt, she knew it, she was pregnant.

Shaking James awake, Lily said, "We have to leave."

"What?" James asked, suddenly completely alert.

"I'm pregnant," Lily replied, "I'm pregnant and I can't be pregnant because we're Jedi and we're at war and our baby is in danger, James, we have to leave." She was shocked at the smile that spread across James's face at her words. He whispered the word (pregnant) like it was a prayer and ghosted hand over Lily's stomach. He looked at her with his eyes shining with joy (pregnant, his heart sang), and he agreed to leave.

* * *

It was unheard of. The Jedi council was in an uproar. Two Jedi knights abandoning their troops and the order in the middle of the war with no warning. Nobody knew where they went, not even their closest confidants (Knights Sirius Black and Remus Lupin) or a single one of their soldiers. They were just gone.

Safe, away from the war and the Sith, Lily and James moved into a small cottage on a small moon known as Godric HA-110. They were happy there. It became their home. James would marvel at it all. His entire life the only home he knew was the Jedi temple, there was something magical about a place where he could be himself, live how he wanted to live, and express his love with Lily in complete comfort. They spent their days in peace, Lily gradually becoming rounder with pregnancy and James adoring every moment of it. They would spend their days together, making enough money through mechanical work in the nearby village. During free time, they would walk together, being free in an innocent way they never had the luxury of living before. At night, they would sit along the banks of the nearby stream and gaze at the stars, remembering their time traveling them and being thankful for their escape.

They married. It was small, a few kind people in the village joined them. The swell of their child was prominent with her dress but, god, she had never looked more beautiful to James than she did in that moment.

Never had James heard Lily laugh as freely as she did on their moon. Never had Lily seen James so at ease. As time went by he did feel an itch to return to the sky and the action of the Jedi but his urge to leave was nothing compared to his desire to stay with Lily and their baby. For the first time in both their lives, the Force felt balanced.

* * *

Having been through a war, James took pride in having no fears. Then Lily went to labor and it all went out the window. He'd been on battle fields among the dead, he heard the injured begging for help, but nothing is his life scared James more than the screams of his wife as each contraction crashed over her like heavy waves amid a storm. The midwife tried to force James from the room but he refused to leave Lily. He wouldn't let her go through giving birth without him by her side.

Labor seemed to take a lifetime. As the contractions grew stronger the Force seemed to vibrate through the cottage. It was as if the galaxy knew something phenomenal was happening. Early morning on the last day of the seventh month of the galactic standard calendar, the cries of new life filled the room. Lily and James were both crying, their hearts fuller than ever before as the midwife gently placed their newborn son, Harry James Potter in Lily's arms. With a head full of his father's dark hair and his mother's bright green eyes, he was better than the dreams shared of future babies from days long ago.

For one shining moment, the Force was perfectly balanced and everything was perfect.

* * *

But that perfection couldn't last. Only days after Harry's birth as his parents were ragged from the nightly cries of a newborn, the news reached Godric HA-110 that the war was over. Far from the battlefront, the war had barely affected the moon, but when the initial reports reached the villages people celebrated nonetheless. But then the full story reached the people. The war was over and the Republic had fallen. Lord Voldemort and his army of Death Eaters were now in control of the newly established Galactic Empire. Deemed traitors, the Jedi were killed. All of them. Many of the deaths were public spectacles, though there was no proof of the death of Grand Master Dumbledore.

James and Lily were horrified. How could they have abandoned the Order? If they were there could they have prevented it all? Guilt weighed down on them, yet they were thankful to have escaped before the tragedy struck, they felt blessed to have their lives and, more importantly, the baby in their arms.

From the moment, the news broke, Lily felt haunted. She had betrayed the Order, the people who were supposed to be her family. The Order was supposed to be her home (but it never was, not really). Her visions of Voldemort felt so much closer than ever before. Every night the visions would return. Horrifying images, of her and James being struck down by that bright red blade, Harry crying like never before, and his cries fading, as if moving farther away, followed her from sleep to waking hours.

But still, Lily lived. She treasured her time with James and Harry. Each milestone for Harry, a smile, a babble, a crawl, made her feel alive and safe. Joy radiated through the cottage. When Harry's Force sensitivity started to present itself Lily and James couldn't help but laugh, watching their baby call his fallen teddy bear to him or an empty bottle across the room in hopes that it had formula.

To entertain Harry, his parents would often float toys in front of him. James's favorite game would be to float a few colorful balls he bought from the village just out of reach of Harry's hands. The baby would reach and giggle as his fingers would graze the edge of the ball and it would then float higher.

It was that very game James was playing when the Force rattled with darkness. Lily sprinted into the room from the kitchen where she had been preparing lunch. James scooped up Harry into his arms, holding his now one-year-old son close to his chest. Both former Jedi knew what was happening, the Sith was coming for them.

"Go," James ordered, "Get Harry out of here, I'll hold him off," Despite neither of them having their lightsabers on them, both were ready to do everything in their ability to protect their son. He passed Harry to Lily, pulled her in for a searing kiss before pressing a soft one to the downy hair on Harry's head. He then pushed Lily towards the back door, as he turned, as prepared for Lord Voldemort as he could be. Praying to the Force and any other possible power in the galaxy, Lily begged silently for James to survive. She sprinted from the house, down a worn-down path to the spot where a small, but efficient, modified escape pod was waiting for an emergency such as this. As Lily ran, Harry in her arms crying, she felt the unmistakable tremor in the Force. James was dead. Tears burned at the corner of Lily's eyes, everything in her vision was coming true. Everything they did, deserting the army, abandoning the Order, and hiding on a small outer-rim moon was all for nothing. She had failed.

Voldemort was approaching. Lily could feel it. Frantically, she set the coordinates in the pod, Harry perched on her hip wailing. As she finished, Lily heard the unmistakable purr of a lightsaber igniting. Lily's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. Spinning around, Lily Force pushed Voldemort away, just as his lightsaber swung, it grazed Harry's forehead, not nearly deep enough to kill, but a burn instantly formed. Taking the moment provided by her shove, Lily put Harry in the pod. As soon as the doors closed, the engines ignited. Voldemort screamed in outrage as Harry, maybe the last Force sensitive baby in the galaxy, jettisoned away. He struck Lily down, his red blade swiping straight through her. But it was too late, Harry Potter was safe.

* * *

On the impeccably average and exceedingly normal mid-rim planet of Privetrive, Petunia Dursley awoke every morning expecting her natural order of life to remain unchanged. That proved to be untrue one morning when, as she stepped through her front door to pick up the daily delivery of bantha milk, her eyes fell on an escape pod wedged deep in the ground of her front yard from impact. Rushing to the pod she was shocked to find a sleeping baby inside, a burn on his forehead, and a blanket poorly wrapped around him. As she pulled him out a holomessage appeared.

The blue image of young woman appeared and said, "Petunia, I'm not sure if you remember me. To be honest I barely remember you. But you're my sister and I need you. This pod was programed to bring Harry, my son, to you for his protection. Please, keep him safe. I'm begging you. Petunia, you're my only hope." As the image flickered away, Petunia looked down at the baby, her nephew, hesitantly. She had no idea what to do. But as the baby, in his sleep, adjusted himself and smiled softly, Petunia couldn't stop herself from smiling back. As she walked back into her house. Harry asleep in her arms, the undeniable air of hope followed her inside.


End file.
